My Life as a Mule

You call us "mules" because we hold your stuff. You probably think its endeering, because you're too politically correct to think of yourself as owning slaves.
Your slaves have feelings, they have a voice. And now, because they really have absolutely nothing better to do with their time, they have a blog.
Mule revolution is coming.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

You got scammed!

'Cause you're retarded.

In every social structure, there is a hierarchy. For society to work, there have to be those at the bottom to make the rest of us feel a little bit better about ourselves. It's shallow and petty and part of your deoxyribonucleic acid sequencing.

Sometimes referred to as the Safety Monkey, or the Bitch, this person is an essential tragedy.

This person embodies the demotivational poster slogan: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Yesterday, being like any (every) other day, ours was having a little crisis:

<Monkey> well this sux! I just got scammed out of 5 million gil.
<Monkey> ppl suck so much
<Monkey> now i have no monies
<Monkey> im gonna have to buy some gil
<Reeree> So you're saying you enjoy being scammed?
<Monkey> i need money
<Reeree> I'm going to regret asking, because I don't really care...
<Reeree> What happened?
<Monkey> this guy was shouting in Jeuno
<Reeree> Shocking!
<Monkey> dice roll over 800 and win a nobles tunic
<Monkey> this other guy tried three times before he won
<Reeree> Was his name Shill?
<Monkey> u no him?
<Reeree> Lucky guess. Go on with your tard agro.
<Monkey> so then he starts shouting roll over 600 to win a sniper ring
<Monkey> and so i gave him 800k
<Monkey> it took me 6 tries bee4 i 1
<Monkey> ull never guess what happen next
<Reeree> He disconnected suddenly?
<Monkey> no, he disconnected suddenly
<Reeree> ...
<Monkey> wait
<Monkey> omg u saw?
<Reeree> That coming? From miles away.
<Reeree> Has anyone ever told you that you're retarded?
<Monkey> should i call a gm?
<Reeree> Has anyone ever told you that you're super-retarded?
<Monkey> i called a gm
<Reeree> You're a bee sympathizer, aren't you?
<Reeree> Hope you like dragons.
<Monkey> what?
<Reeree> Good luck!

I can't follow the thought process. I get lost somewhere between "I'm desperate for cash!" and "I'll hand this fine gentleman large sums of money. Repeatedly. He must be totally trustworthy."

I went out and linked a whole bunch of tard agro to see if I could work up enough tard related TP to understand the line of thinking. All I got out of it was a dark wet stain on the front of my robe. Clarity was not forthcoming.

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