I love you, Fantastic Fraulein Mumor!

Dude! I can't believe my favorite teen idol singer is doing finally performing in Bastok! I wonder if she'll sit in my lap?

Wouldn't that be totally awesome, to have Mumor sit in my lap? I'd never wash my Mumor fanboy Elder Gillet and Trunks again!

I couldn't wait to see her. Sure, most everybody else might claim that they never heard of her before Summerbreeze festival 2008, but I've been a fan since she was playing in dives like the Bat's Lair Inn.

But after all my anticipation, what happens? Some big ugly Skeletor-wannabe guy comes along and tries to ruin her show. He was all:

Ullegore> Ooooh. I'm scary. I'm gonna hit you with my goat stick.

And Mumor was so cool about it.

Mumor> OMG! You're so funny!
Mumor> I could totally magical-girl kick you ass with this lame charm wand.
Mumor> It's not even the +1 version.
Ullegore> You think so, little girl?
Mumor> Bring it on, you buzzard-picked buzzkill.

The crowd was all excited and totally got behind helping her out with love and good cheer.

Crowd> Go Mumor! We love you!
Crowd> You rock, Mumor!
Crowd> I love you're movies!
Crowd> Mumor, will you sign my bathing suit?
Crowd> Sing "Gentleness Of You" next!

Actually, I hoped she would sing "Forever Love"
Snuggleteddy> massugu futari wo terashita
Snuggleteddy> yuuyake kirameiteru
Snuggleteddy> ima made kanjita koto nai kurai
Snuggleteddy> mune no fukaku ga atsui

Then Mumor busted out with special dance moves to really get that demon guy's goat right by the handle of his staff.

Watching and dancing along to all her music videos really paid off.

She's like:

Mumor : Now it's time to use my ultimate attack, the Dancing Force! You're going back to where you belong, Ullegore!

I was, like, not sure how dancing was going to get him to go to Walmart, dude, but I trust Mumor implicitly.

Mumor : Shining Summer Samba!!!
Snuggleteddy performs a passionate samba.
Mumor and Snuggleteddy's dancing Synchronized!
Ullegore : Argh!

Mumor : Lovely Miracle Waltz!!!
Snuggleteddy performs an elegant waltz.
Mumor and Snuggleteddy's dancing Synchronized!
Ullegore : Argh!

Mumor : Neo Crystal Jig!!!
Snuggleteddy performs an intricate jig.
Mumor and Snuggleteddy's dancing Synchronized!
Ullegore : Argh!

Mumor : Super Crusher Jig!!!
Snuggleteddy performs a lively jig.
Mumor and Snuggleteddy's dancing Synchronized!
Ullegore : Argh!


Of course, she won. Was there ever any doubt?

I cheered for every time she tried to have a concert for us, but it became clear.

Ullegore, is like, totally stalking her.

It made me so mad, I was practically crying. My Mumor cosplay mascara was running when I made a video for You-tube:

Snuggleteddy> LEAVE MUMOR ALONE!
Snuggleteddy> All you people care about is making money off of her!
Snuggleteddy> She's a HUME!
Snuggleteddy> What you don't realize is that Mumor's making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her!
Snuggleteddy> All you people want is more more more more MORE!
Snuggleteddy> Leave her alone!
Snuggleteddy> You're lucky she even performed for you bastards!
Snuggleteddy> Leave Mumor ALONE!!!!

Your lucky numbers

I was focusing on my crystals, wondering if the time had come to turn them over the the auction house for cash, when I heard the distant voice of a Moogle saying "Your lucky numbers are 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42."

Clearly, I was meant to participate in the Mog Bonanza, but there were some challenges to that.

First challenge - in order to buy a lottery ticket, one must at least be level 5. Upon arriving in Jeuno, I was only level 4.

Second challenge - Tickets are not sold in Jeuno, but even if they were, it wouldn't matter without resolving the first challenge.

Third challenge - my homepoint is now in Jeuno.

I called up Butcherboy and asked him whether he wanted to make a suicidal run with me. Galka are generally incapable of thought when asked for a favor by a woman. Of course he readily agreed.

Plus, I think Meroduin had called him and demanded he try for the gil, as if Butcherboy would give it to the elf to sit on.

We gathered together in Rolanberry Mall, I think - hard to say, it's not like I'm allowed to spend money on maps. In any case, there were lots of bazaars full of stuff no one wanted.

Wearing fishing gear, we decided it was best not to stand still lest Square mistake us for fishing bots. We headed west.

And came to a Cavernous Maw.

Butcherboy>> Let's touch it.
Jeine>> What could go wrong?

Hello CaitSith>> Tee hee! was someone here?

I ended up in Batallia Downs S. Butcherboy in Rolanberry Fields S.

Holding up a pure white feather, we returned to the present. I was greeted by some tigers.

If only I had learned the art of reading the future told in entrails, this would have been a perfect opportunity to practice.

Butcherboy met me back in Jeuno, and we got a teleport to Dem this time. From there it was an easy jog to the zone between North and South Gustaburg where the Quadav gang raped the Galka.

Young Quadav>> I hear you likes the meat, cully!
Butcherboy>> ...
Amber Quadav>> You gotz a purty mouth!

I used the distraction to run for my life. I'm not proud of it.

But, if the stars align and I buy the ticket with the golden wrapper, then Butcherboy's sacrifice will have been worth it,

MOG BONANZA MADNESS

 

It's that time again!  Time for mules to drum up some crazy and make everyone nuts!  And so it begins.

Gambling.

We all know that Moogles have a gambling problem.  And now they want to pass it on to us.

We get 10 chances, to pick a five digit number, and if all 5 digits match the number they pulled out of their furry little butts, we get a crack at....

*thunk*

Now that I have recovered, I have to consider important things, like what numbers to use.  How should I use my forty chances?  Lump betting?  Consecutive spread?  Lucky numbers?  Numbers associated with my identity?

Halp.