My Life as a Mule

You call us "mules" because we hold your stuff. You probably think its endeering, because you're too politically correct to think of yourself as owning slaves.
Your slaves have feelings, they have a voice. And now, because they really have absolutely nothing better to do with their time, they have a blog.
Mule revolution is coming.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Mr. Lazyface Nospace

Sometimes the Master is annoying, like when he decides that all his slaves have to have a certain amount of gil on them at ALL times. That wouldn't be so bad if he'd just GIVE us that amount. Nooooo, that's too much work for Mr. Lazyface. He gives us some stuffz and tells us to sell it. Helloooooo? Auction house fees? What a jerk.

So finally that edict of his is fulfilled. I 've made his stinking quota and I'm sitting on this pile of gil when he sends me a message: "Buy me supplies to make three stacks of Yagudo Drinks."

I'm like, "Whaaaa? Why?"

"Because Bastok has control of Aragoneu and Kolshushu. Hurry up."

"But... my gilz!"

Then he gets all sweet faced and promises he'll send it back.


Oh, and yeah, I was literally sitting on the pile. Meroduin suggested I try it. It's cold. I'd rather have a carpet.

So I go. I buy his crafting stuffz and I send it to him. Does he send me the gilz right away? Nooooooooooooo. Does he send it the next day? Noooooooo. The day after that?

Well no, but in a few weeks he does remember to yell at me for not having gilz. And because he's been leveling Blue Monster Skill Stealer, Barbie Doll Abuser, and OMGay Buccaneer all at once, he's been stuffing my bag full of random monster dropped crafting material and my bag is full.

I burst into tears and told him it was all his fault. He gave me a blackened newt to make me stop crying, and while I was eating explained that he had no gilz and couldn't craft anything because he didn't have space.


How can he have no space, he has 4 slaves! One in every city! What? So I yelled at Mr. Lazyface Nospace and told him to freaking craft something or I was gonna toss his precious beehive chips. Because I can't stack them because I can't move things back and forth like he does and now my delivery box is full and he NEEDS to craft stuff and get me my space back AND my gilz.

He gave me some Selbina milk to make me calm down and said he'd see what he could do.

So I get a message from Butcherboy, "The Master has asked me to take any full stacks of items that you have from you."

So I send off, in a painstakingly slow process that involved getting deliveries, stacking, sending, then reorganizing 10 stacks of various crafting things dropped by bees, sheep, saplings, worms, and whatever else it is that Blue Monster Skill Stealers fail to learn from. I think pugils, I don't remember. I just wanted to get rid of it. Oh yeah, birds.

Then Butcherboy tells me, "Stand by for delivery." I check my box, and see that BUTCHERBOY has sent me enough gilz to make up for Mr. Lazyface Nospace who can take the airship, teleport and outpost warp almost everywhere being too freaking lazy to get his own supplies.

Also, the man can craft sushi from fish that he fishes himself and then sell it for an insane profit. Even if he buys the fish he still makes a profit. And I'm not talking a piddly 10% increase. I'm talking a flat 55% profit the man makes on his sushi. Because he's not an idiot. Oh, and this is his craft leveling sushi, not the good stuff.

He's such a jerk.

I wish I knew what Butcherboy sold for so much tho. I never get to hold the good stuff.

1 comment:

Snuggleteddy said...

Dude, if your bag is, like, full you are supposed to be selling stuff.

Where have you been?