My Life as a Mule

You call us "mules" because we hold your stuff. You probably think its endeering, because you're too politically correct to think of yourself as owning slaves.
Your slaves have feelings, they have a voice. And now, because they really have absolutely nothing better to do with their time, they have a blog.
Mule revolution is coming.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Why does the Master need such expensive things?

Many months ago, the Master decreed that to better serve him, all of his slaves must keep a certain amount of gil on them at all times. He then proceeded to send us various items to sell so that we could earn this amount, and anything over that was to be sent to Meroduin unless the Master was feeling especially frivolous that day in which case it was to be sent directly to His Grand Spendthriftness.

Recently, he's taken to spending this gil like water. Now, in recognition of his own habits, he's lowered the amount that we must all hold on our persons. Also, he's having us sell off his old, "non-shiny" equipment. Apparently, now things that are not +1 or better are not allowed to touch his soft, fair skin. With the exception of his new earrings, for those the +1 version (which monsters somehow naturally hate and fear) are never allowed to touch his fair, soft skin.

The strangest part of this is that he doesn't actually care how much we have so long as: a) we have enough to buy him crafting materials when we need it and b) we have enough to put his random things up for auction.

So while poor Terylieze is practically impoverished, and poor Meroduin bemoans the shrinking state of his hoard, I have a huge stash that the Master keeps forgetting about. You see, the common things that the Master no longer needs have become frighteningly rare. He just tells me, "Sell it for whatever they'll pay." Apparently, 'they' are gilbuying cracksmokers who can be convinced to pay anything just for basic equipment. It helps that Conquest has been ruined by the new expansion, and the travelling circus hasn't left Windurst for a while. So all of his Windurstian gear is available (supply) and all that leftover San d'Orian gear he has collected over the years is worth ten times its original price (demand). In fact, I should remind him to go craft some San d'Orian tea. He'd make a killing. Or rather, since he can't be bothered to sell it, he'd just send it to me and I'd make a killing.

Some people say cooks are thieves. I agree with that, but really see no reason for change. It's not my fault you chose not to focus on consumable goods as the path to wealth and prosperity. Ya dumbass.

But seriously, why do people pay 2,000 gil for something available in a merchant's shop for 800 gil? Just because the item is only sold in one city doesn't make it rare, it just makes it inconvenient. If people really want to pay 1,200 gil for convenience, who am I to stop them? The same rule applies to cooking. Master invested a lot of time and gil raising his skill to a level where he could put raw fish on a ball of rice. That fine dish gives you a bonus to dexterity and agility and accuracy and some other things, I forget what. If those bonuses are worth it, you will pay his asking price. The fact that his asking price is not even vaguely related to his cost is not your concern. Your concern is how gimp you will be in a party if you don't have any food, or if your food is inappropriate for your job. Some people think sushi is overrated. And, it probably is. But... it does work. It does improve your overall XP/hour. Just because there are other foods that could do the same thing more cheaply.... but I digress.

The Master asks me to close with this message from C.A.F.E, Culinarians Against Food Extensions: "Always take Refresh or Regen! It makes the WHM and RDM happy! The food extensions suck!"

1 comment:

Galkizzle said...

Hey. I saw you posting on [GM]Dave's blogs. You're pretty funny! I'll be sure to check back to your blog every day!:D