My Life as a Mule

You call us "mules" because we hold your stuff. You probably think its endeering, because you're too politically correct to think of yourself as owning slaves.
Your slaves have feelings, they have a voice. And now, because they really have absolutely nothing better to do with their time, they have a blog.
Mule revolution is coming.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Beware of the Tard

No, this monster is not new with the expansion. It does not come exclusively from the Near East.

I see Tard People.
They're everywhere.
In experience parties, linkshell chat, shouting in Jeuno.
They don't even know they're retarded.

There are some basic facts about Tards you should know.

Level: 0
Family: Mongoloid
Crystal: Water
Weak against: Logic, Creativity, Humor, Intelligence, Wisdom, Fire
Areas Found: All
Behavior for Tards:
  • Aggressive
  • Linking
  • Drooling
  • Incomprehensible speech

Dropped from Tards:
  • Dhalmel Saliva
  • Feces

Special attacks:
  • Inane Babble
  • Poo Fling

No, Blue Mages cannot learn these spells.

Tards are aggressive despite having no chance to win. They will always attack, but they cannot actually hurt you unless you engage.

Do not engage Tards. It makes you retarded.

Plus, they link.

Going at it with one might seem entertaining for a while, but all it does is encourage all their friends to show up. While this still can't hurt you physically, the lag is rude to inflict on others.

Remember how your mom told you not to scratch your chicken pox, but you just had to because they really itched and so now you are horribly scarred and ugly forever? It's like that.

You won't be able to avoid Tards completely, but you can cut down on Tard agro by simply never asking a Mentor for help again.

Talking to Tards counts as engaging them. All you are doing is giving them TP. That's like asking them to fling their poo at you.

Use your black list - whether they are in your party or your linkshell, black list them anyway. You'll be glad you did.

What, are you worried that they'll someday have something worthwhile to say?

I suppose if you give enough typewriters to monkeys, Shakespeare, and all, but that also requires infinite time. Do you really have that kind of time?

Of course you don't. If you did, you wouldn't be a filthy gilbuying Tard.

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