Vana'diel recruitment program

Are you a downtrodden mule who seeks to better his lot in life?
Do you dream of being a real adventurer?
Would you appreciate getting to use the gil you earn on yourself instead of handing it over to a slaveowner?
Wouldn't you rather that your inventory spaces hold your stuff, instead of junk for your master?

If you answered yes to the above questions, you might be able to join my revolution.

For the dream of a society where mules are equal to become reality, all mules must stand together with their onion weapons and fight for their liberty. Social changes do not come about without hardship, sacrifice, and carnage, and cannon fodder is a step up in life for most of you.

We're looking for a few good men.

Or women.

Or just some people who, if not good, don't completely suck.

Let's review the merits and flaws of those I've got signed on to this revolution so far:

Squirt:
Merits - Cheerful positive attitude makes people like her
Flaws - Head full of cotton candy, I think she sniffs animal glue at the auction house

Snuggleteddy:
Merits - Has the cash to fund the revolution, has a really big sword
Flaws - Puts the dumb in Galka, listens to Mithra

Jeine:
Merits - Operates out of centrally located Chicago O'Hare... I mean Jeuno, Hume, can sometimes pass as an adventurer.
Flaws - New age freak with no true marketable skills

Meroduin:
Merits - Possibly the smartest mule on the team, certainly the highest rank and level, lots of gil
Flaws - Arrogant as any San D'Orian Elvaan, miserly, lazier than a Windurstian Tarutaru shopkeeper, an ultimately uncaring of advancing himself

Terylieze:
Merits - Mithra (knuckle-draggers get stupid over cat-girls)
Flaws - Mithra (being bat-shit insane is a prerequisite), her speaking is a constant reminder that Bastok (industrial wastland of Vana'diel) is really New Jersey

Butcherboy
Merits - He has meat, and it takes lots of food to supply an army, and he's also literate
Flaws - Flamable... maybe that should go under merits?

So... we need your help. If not you, then someone better than you.

Sign up by telling us in 100 words or less
A) Who you are
B) What you think you can contribute toward the cause