Dun din din, din dun... din dun dun, dun din dun...
By now you know the music of Summer Festival, played every night in the starting cities and outlying areas. It gets stuck in your head.
Some people complain that they don't enjoy the fireworks. I used to think nothing was more beautiful.
This year, they have the capacity for even more fireworks, thanks to Corsairs.
You're probably thinking they fire flare guns in the air or something. That's funny, considering how few guns there are that Corsairs can actually use.
No, they help with their special 2-hour ability, resetting the 2-hour abilities of others - you know, if they roll the right number, or whatever.
I talked to some of the behind the scenes NPCs who put the whole show together. In Windurst, they're all hanging out on a balcony off the Star Sybil's room. it felt really crowded in there, but all I could see was an officious looking Tarutaru and an exceptionally large Galka Dragoon.
Reeree>> What's going on up here?
Taru>> Fireworks cele-wele-bration!
Reeree>> Are you going to talk like that for the whole conversation?
Taru>> ...
Reeree>> Why does it feel so crowded up here?
Galka>> Ninja are stealthy?
Reeree>> What Ninja?
Taru>> Exactly!
Galks>> Observe.
The Tarutaru pulled a lever and a single Carrion Crow flapped out of a cage into what it thought was freedom.
The Galka climbed up a ladder and jumped onto a board, propelling a Ninja I hadn't even noticed before off the other end and into the sky, and towards the bird.
Taru>> THREE!
Taru>> TWO!
Taru>> ONE!
Ninja1 uses Mijin Gakure.
Reeree>> This is how you make fireworks?
Taru>> Renewable resources! It's the way of the future!
Reeree>> Now I have dead Ninja in my hair.
Reeree>> That's going to take forever to get out.
Taru>> All art comes with sacrifice.
Reeree>> People actually sign up for this?
Taru>> Well...
Moogle>> Change jobs?
Reeree>> No thanks. Where'd you come from, anyway?
Moogle>> Kupoooooooooo~~~~~~~
Reeree>> But I haven't even unlocked Ninja...
Galka uses High Jump.
Reeree>> Sonofa....
Taru>> THREE!
Taru>> TWO!
Taru>> ONE!
Reeree uses Mijin Gakure.
It's much prettier for the spectators. Trust me.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
All good things
You might expect the GMs to rain divine retribution down on me for what I had done, oh ye of little faith.
[GM]Buzzkill did eventually find me again. I warped him so far and so fast that he woke up in World of Warcraft. Yeah, I paniced a little. I've heard he calls some big green man "Papa" now.
Ah, but the universe does appreciate irony.
People were starting to talk about how many gilsellers were starting over at level. You could tell they were gilsellers because anyone else would have upgraded from their starting onion weapons before they hit level 25. Also, anyone else would have taken the time to unlock and level a subjob.
I'm sure my "near jeuno" accuracy had nothing to do with that.
Shihu-Danhu was sending me tells that he had enjoyed his break and was almost ready to come back. I wanted him to have a warm welcome, so I started warping people into boss fight areas, like the Promyvion ENMs and the Shadow Lord.
Everything went dark. I was expecting a little box with dialog:
Where am I?
Am I dead?
Afterlife?
The music changed.
NPCs went running past me to hide. What was going on?
Morons started shouting "For the shire!"
I crawled inside my crate, grateful to be able to move again. So this is what that beseiged thing is all about.
Now, I've read about Mamool Ja, but nothing could prepare me for how ugly they are. But that was nothing compared to their stink. Aren't you glad you use Dial? Don't you wish everybody did? I had to take Shihu-Danhu's glasses off to wipe the water from my eyes.
I didn't want to be like those mules by the auction house, taking up space in the zone without contributing my part. I started to cast my wonderful warp on monsters.
Not enough MP.
I know I have mentioned before the one rule to remember: Square Hates You.
As soon as the Jar-Jar Binks on steroids were beaten back, we were treated to an encore of invasion of the escaped breeding experiments. Whoever thought humes and uragnites would be a good match deserves to be beseiged by Troll mercenaries.
Maybe that's why they were so pissed off.
And I thought the Mamool Ja smelled bad. After meeting Trolls, I'll never eat cheese again.
Al Zahbi lost two generals by that point, but the Trolls were beaten back just in time for the Little Mermaid and her merry band of hookers to storm town. What's with all the gold necklaces? Mr T. never wore so much bling.
Now the first two beseigeds had been very unsettling, but Lamia are just foul. What kind of an attack is it to strip someone naked? Nobody wants to see a Galka in his birthday bondage gear. Mithra started crying. I choose to believe in a reality where the two are related, rather than try to comprehend what the Mithra were actually upset about. I don't speak crazy bitch.
I considered casting Stone - since that was pretty much all I had, but after watching a level 75 Red Mage/Ninja drop 500 hit points from some random AoE that didn't even animate for me, from a monster not even loaded on my screen, I opted for counting the grain lines of the boards on the inside of my crate.
There are 647, in case you are interested.
I also counted the NPC exit door handles that would lead me to safety and sanctuary. There are 0.
It was a terrifying long time, and then suddenly, it was over. The music changed. People started shouting "Yawn" and rolling dice like they were pirates.
I would have been home free if it weren't for those dirty hands reaching in my crate and carrying me away before the cut scene was over. They even ripped Shihu-Danhu's robe when they pulled me out of the crate.
When the screen finally loaded, I was in prison. Kidnapped!
I won't go into detail about how bad it was. It's prison. Again, the warp scroll from Shihu-Danhu didn't work. I guess you need to stand on the fountain of MP to be able to cast it. There was no magical fountain of MP in prison.
Nor was there a Starbucks, but I'm pretty sure there was one right around the corner.
I figured it wouldn't be a long stay - they always get the Warp Taru back within half an hour. It would give a few White Mages a chance to earn a few tens of thousands of gil, and then I'd be rescued by some Galka Paladin or something.
I had to share my cell with the merchant guy from Al Zahbi who sells rocks. He'd been there since about 8 hours after the expansion was released. He was so happy to have someone to talk to that he went on and on about rocks for the entire first half hour. Black rocks, blue rocks white rocks, translucent rocks. Remind me to kill any brat at the Windurst school who shows even the slightest interest in Geology.
I got a little grumpy when no one showed up immediately to rescue me. How could they not come to rescue the Warp Taru? This was unheard of. Unless...
/search all Shihu-Danhu
The bastard was back in Al Zahbi. He snuck in after I was kidnapped, and no one ever noticed a thing. I'm going to give that guy a reraise earring so I can kill him eleven times.
For some reason, I had all these thoughts about rocks, so I did what I could with that. I cast Stone on the poor NPC until I was out of MP. Then I used Manafont and cast Stone on him some more.
This process repeated every two hours for roughly two or three weeks, Earth time.
Eventually, our captors noticed what I was doing, and started charging tickets to the show. I waited until they had a crowd of more than 6.
In my experience, 6 people is usually more than enough to ensure that at least one of them will be completely retarded. Once you get into an alliance, it's 99% guaranteed.
The eyes of a dozen beastmen were on me, eagerly awaiting my next temper tantrum, and the bruises and contusions that Bornahn would get as a result of it.
The clock ticked down to zero, and my 2-hour reset.
I looked at all the Beastmen in the eye, and did the one thing guaranteed to piss them off no matter how suicidal their anger might be.
I sat down.
The cries of anger and frustration could be heard all though the Near East.
Troll Sabreur starts casting Bio III.
Lamia Immolator starts casting Firaga IV.
Mamool Ja Savant starts casting Banishga III.
Mamool Ja Sophist starts casting Flare.
Woodtroll Ranger's ranged attack misses.
Reeree>> Shut up!
Reeree>> You had me at Bio III.
They broke the door down to get at me, but I was already long since dead an homepointed. It's always disorienting to suddenly be standing in the middle of Windurst Waters, but it's good to be home.
There was a Thief next to me, looking disoriented. I vaguely remembered warping her here weeks ago in one of my nicer moments.
Thief>>Um... Which way is Jeuno from here?
Reeree>> That's Warp Taru is a complete ass, isn't he?
[GM]Buzzkill did eventually find me again. I warped him so far and so fast that he woke up in World of Warcraft. Yeah, I paniced a little. I've heard he calls some big green man "Papa" now.
Ah, but the universe does appreciate irony.
People were starting to talk about how many gilsellers were starting over at level. You could tell they were gilsellers because anyone else would have upgraded from their starting onion weapons before they hit level 25. Also, anyone else would have taken the time to unlock and level a subjob.
I'm sure my "near jeuno" accuracy had nothing to do with that.
Shihu-Danhu was sending me tells that he had enjoyed his break and was almost ready to come back. I wanted him to have a warm welcome, so I started warping people into boss fight areas, like the Promyvion ENMs and the Shadow Lord.
Everything went dark. I was expecting a little box with dialog:
Where am I?
Am I dead?
Afterlife?
The music changed.
NPCs went running past me to hide. What was going on?
Morons started shouting "For the shire!"
I crawled inside my crate, grateful to be able to move again. So this is what that beseiged thing is all about.
Now, I've read about Mamool Ja, but nothing could prepare me for how ugly they are. But that was nothing compared to their stink. Aren't you glad you use Dial? Don't you wish everybody did? I had to take Shihu-Danhu's glasses off to wipe the water from my eyes.
I didn't want to be like those mules by the auction house, taking up space in the zone without contributing my part. I started to cast my wonderful warp on monsters.
Not enough MP.
I know I have mentioned before the one rule to remember: Square Hates You.
As soon as the Jar-Jar Binks on steroids were beaten back, we were treated to an encore of invasion of the escaped breeding experiments. Whoever thought humes and uragnites would be a good match deserves to be beseiged by Troll mercenaries.
Maybe that's why they were so pissed off.
And I thought the Mamool Ja smelled bad. After meeting Trolls, I'll never eat cheese again.
Al Zahbi lost two generals by that point, but the Trolls were beaten back just in time for the Little Mermaid and her merry band of hookers to storm town. What's with all the gold necklaces? Mr T. never wore so much bling.
Now the first two beseigeds had been very unsettling, but Lamia are just foul. What kind of an attack is it to strip someone naked? Nobody wants to see a Galka in his birthday bondage gear. Mithra started crying. I choose to believe in a reality where the two are related, rather than try to comprehend what the Mithra were actually upset about. I don't speak crazy bitch.
I considered casting Stone - since that was pretty much all I had, but after watching a level 75 Red Mage/Ninja drop 500 hit points from some random AoE that didn't even animate for me, from a monster not even loaded on my screen, I opted for counting the grain lines of the boards on the inside of my crate.
There are 647, in case you are interested.
I also counted the NPC exit door handles that would lead me to safety and sanctuary. There are 0.
It was a terrifying long time, and then suddenly, it was over. The music changed. People started shouting "Yawn" and rolling dice like they were pirates.
I would have been home free if it weren't for those dirty hands reaching in my crate and carrying me away before the cut scene was over. They even ripped Shihu-Danhu's robe when they pulled me out of the crate.
When the screen finally loaded, I was in prison. Kidnapped!
I won't go into detail about how bad it was. It's prison. Again, the warp scroll from Shihu-Danhu didn't work. I guess you need to stand on the fountain of MP to be able to cast it. There was no magical fountain of MP in prison.
Nor was there a Starbucks, but I'm pretty sure there was one right around the corner.
I figured it wouldn't be a long stay - they always get the Warp Taru back within half an hour. It would give a few White Mages a chance to earn a few tens of thousands of gil, and then I'd be rescued by some Galka Paladin or something.
I had to share my cell with the merchant guy from Al Zahbi who sells rocks. He'd been there since about 8 hours after the expansion was released. He was so happy to have someone to talk to that he went on and on about rocks for the entire first half hour. Black rocks, blue rocks white rocks, translucent rocks. Remind me to kill any brat at the Windurst school who shows even the slightest interest in Geology.
I got a little grumpy when no one showed up immediately to rescue me. How could they not come to rescue the Warp Taru? This was unheard of. Unless...
/search all Shihu-Danhu
The bastard was back in Al Zahbi. He snuck in after I was kidnapped, and no one ever noticed a thing. I'm going to give that guy a reraise earring so I can kill him eleven times.
For some reason, I had all these thoughts about rocks, so I did what I could with that. I cast Stone on the poor NPC until I was out of MP. Then I used Manafont and cast Stone on him some more.
This process repeated every two hours for roughly two or three weeks, Earth time.
Eventually, our captors noticed what I was doing, and started charging tickets to the show. I waited until they had a crowd of more than 6.
In my experience, 6 people is usually more than enough to ensure that at least one of them will be completely retarded. Once you get into an alliance, it's 99% guaranteed.
The eyes of a dozen beastmen were on me, eagerly awaiting my next temper tantrum, and the bruises and contusions that Bornahn would get as a result of it.
The clock ticked down to zero, and my 2-hour reset.
I looked at all the Beastmen in the eye, and did the one thing guaranteed to piss them off no matter how suicidal their anger might be.
I sat down.
The cries of anger and frustration could be heard all though the Near East.
Troll Sabreur starts casting Bio III.
Lamia Immolator starts casting Firaga IV.
Mamool Ja Savant starts casting Banishga III.
Mamool Ja Sophist starts casting Flare.
Woodtroll Ranger's ranged attack misses.
Reeree>> Shut up!
Reeree>> You had me at Bio III.
They broke the door down to get at me, but I was already long since dead an homepointed. It's always disorienting to suddenly be standing in the middle of Windurst Waters, but it's good to be home.
There was a Thief next to me, looking disoriented. I vaguely remembered warping her here weeks ago in one of my nicer moments.
Thief>>Um... Which way is Jeuno from here?
Reeree>> That's Warp Taru is a complete ass, isn't he?
Monday, July 24, 2006
Taking things too far
Filling in for the Warp Taru may have gotten to my head.
I was starting to draw attention. Bad attention.
I spent two hours warping adventurers into Mordion Gaol. Way I see it, that place exists outside of time and space, so it may very well be close to Jeuno. You don't know.
Sure, to get out, they could just place a GM call. But is a GM really going to believe some jerk who managed to get himself thrown in jail?
Most likely anyone who complained would talk his way into permanent ban.
I should be so lucky.
[GM]Buzzkill>> Hail adventurer.
[GM]Buzzkill>> There have been quite a number of complaints about you.
Reeree>> I can't imagine how that's possible.
[GM]Buzzkill>> Apparently your warping has been rather inaccurate of late.
Reeree>> How so?
[GM]Buzzkill>> You're supposed to send people near Jeuno.
Reeree>> Are we discussing relativity?
[GM]Buzzkill>> No.
Reeree>> I have sent people near Jeuno.
Reeree>> Ru'Lude Gardens even.
[GM]Buzzkill>> Warping level 15 Tarutaru warriors into Dynamis-Jeuno doesn't count.
Reeree>> Oh.
Reeree>> I'll try harder.
[GM]Buzzkill>> That's not really what I had in mind.
Reeree>> It's not?
[GM]Buzzkill>> No.
Reeree>> But since you're talking to me, that must mean...
[GM]Buzzkill>> I think you are beginning to understand.
Reeree>> Of course!
Reeree>> Sorry to take up so much of your time.
Reeree>> Y-you might want to c-close your eyes.
Reeree casts Warp on [GM]Buzzkill.
I warped him to the Lakshmi server, which may or may not have been destroyed in a fire.
If it wasn't destroyed, I hope no one minds if Shihu-Danhu there takes one for the team and spends some time in jail. Let's hear it for team players!
I figured it was time to cool things down, lay low, and avoid more uncomfortable conversations like that.
I started warping people to Batallia Downs, Rolanberry Fields, Sauromugue Champaign, and Qufim Island.
Nobody told me I wasn't supposed to send each person to all four at once. I thought it would be harder to whine to the GMs if your torso was in a different area than your head.
I've heard the cheaters with Windower got to watch their magically quartered body parts get agro and die separately.
On the plus side, Chocobo digging has become more interesting.
I was starting to draw attention. Bad attention.
I spent two hours warping adventurers into Mordion Gaol. Way I see it, that place exists outside of time and space, so it may very well be close to Jeuno. You don't know.
Sure, to get out, they could just place a GM call. But is a GM really going to believe some jerk who managed to get himself thrown in jail?
Most likely anyone who complained would talk his way into permanent ban.
I should be so lucky.
[GM]Buzzkill>> Hail adventurer.
[GM]Buzzkill>> There have been quite a number of complaints about you.
Reeree>> I can't imagine how that's possible.
[GM]Buzzkill>> Apparently your warping has been rather inaccurate of late.
Reeree>> How so?
[GM]Buzzkill>> You're supposed to send people near Jeuno.
Reeree>> Are we discussing relativity?
[GM]Buzzkill>> No.
Reeree>> I have sent people near Jeuno.
Reeree>> Ru'Lude Gardens even.
[GM]Buzzkill>> Warping level 15 Tarutaru warriors into Dynamis-Jeuno doesn't count.
Reeree>> Oh.
Reeree>> I'll try harder.
[GM]Buzzkill>> That's not really what I had in mind.
Reeree>> It's not?
[GM]Buzzkill>> No.
Reeree>> But since you're talking to me, that must mean...
[GM]Buzzkill>> I think you are beginning to understand.
Reeree>> Of course!
Reeree>> Sorry to take up so much of your time.
Reeree>> Y-you might want to c-close your eyes.
Reeree casts Warp on [GM]Buzzkill.
I warped him to the Lakshmi server, which may or may not have been destroyed in a fire.
If it wasn't destroyed, I hope no one minds if Shihu-Danhu there takes one for the team and spends some time in jail. Let's hear it for team players!
I figured it was time to cool things down, lay low, and avoid more uncomfortable conversations like that.
I started warping people to Batallia Downs, Rolanberry Fields, Sauromugue Champaign, and Qufim Island.
Nobody told me I wasn't supposed to send each person to all four at once. I thought it would be harder to whine to the GMs if your torso was in a different area than your head.
I've heard the cheaters with Windower got to watch their magically quartered body parts get agro and die separately.
On the plus side, Chocobo digging has become more interesting.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Where've I been?
You may have noticed it's been a while since I last wrote anything.
You've probably already guessed that this is largely beause I hate you all.
That's not too far off from the actual reason. Seriously. You guys all suck. Thanks for nothing.
It started a few weeks back when I was exploring the secret pathways of the Windurst residential area. I bumped into this desperate looking Tarutaru guy, muttering about how the Japanese players were going to "Rescue him" any minute.
Reeree>> I think one of us has had a stroke.
Shihu-Danhu>> You want to do me a favor?
Reeree>> I'm not really the favor-doing type. But I'd be happy to laugh at your request.
Shihu-Danhu>> I can't take it any more. You have to help me!
Reeree>> Does in any way involve the random deaths of adventurers?
Shihu-Danhu>> If you like.
Reeree>> I'm interested...
He started to get naked.
Reeree>> Less interested...
Shihu-Danhu>> What? Oh. Haha! Here, quick put these on.
He handed me a fancy near eastern robe, and a pair of glasses.
Shihu-Danhu>> I need you to pretend to be me, so I can take a break.
Reeree>> And what, no one will see through this clever disguise?
Shihu-Danhu>> It's better than Trion's.
Shihu-Danhu>> Besides, no one really looks at me.
Putting the glasses on, I commented how it seemed to work for Clark Kent, so what the hell. Shihu-Danhu threw a blond mop wig over my head, and the transformation was complete. He gave me a scroll, which I barely had a chance to glance at.
Reeree>> Wait, you want me to...
Shihu-Danhu>> Thanks! Good luck!
Shihu-Danhu starts casting Warp on Reeree.
I found myself in Al Zahbi standing on a crate. Pretty cool considering I don't even have a Tenshodo membership.
First impression: It's really freaking LOUD. All sorts of people were whining in shout about some Warp Taru being kidnapped or something. Apparently, there had just been a bunch of Mamool Ja ransacking the place. Whatever.
Second impression: It's really freaking crowded. I was standing on this crate, and billions of people were crowded around me. Was that robe he gave me doused in Tard musk? I'll kill him.
Then it started.
Player1>> Warp, plz!
Reeree>> No.
Player1>> y not?
Reeree>> Well, first, because you're retarded.
Player1>> But ur the warp taru!
Reeree>> See, case in point.
I looked down again at the scroll.
Oh.
Damn.
Wow.
This could be fun.
Reeree>> You want me to warp you?
Player1>> Yes!
Reeree>> Even though I can pretty much guarantee you it won't be anywhere near Jeuno?
Player1>> lol! yes! gogogo!
I read the scroll, and warped him. Somewhere. Got a brief glance through that purple warp window of a huge stone slamming into his face from the Gigas that he appeared in front of.
This gig was definitely going to be fun.
The next guy who talked to me got warped to somewhere along the path of the Manaclipper, only the boat was docked at the time. Maybe someday a GM will help him out of that.
Player3>> Warp to Jeuno, please.
Reeree>> Because you said please, I'm going to try my hardest to get you as close as I can!
Reeree>> Oops!
Full Moon Fountain wasn't quite as close as I would have preferred, but what's a little death by Fenrir if not something to laugh about?
It got kinda boring, after a while, so I started to really have fun with the people I didn't like. That list included people who misuse the English language, people who wear clothes that don't match, and pretty much any people who asked me for a freaking warp.
Sure, I had unlimited MP and regenerated over a hundred MP a tick with unending Refresh, but they never stopped. I understood why Shihu-Danhu looked forward to being taken prisoner.
Well, he did seem like that kind of Tarutaru. Stands on a soap box, drops the soap.
Anyway, to make my time more enjoyable, and reduce the number of people who came to talk to me, I started warping them to the new Chocobo Circuit or the Ruins of Al Zadaal. I guess they'll probably be able to log in again after the update when those areas are released.
Maybe Square will put out the update sooner, and you will all have me to thank for it. You know, once you can log in again, and all.
You've probably already guessed that this is largely beause I hate you all.
That's not too far off from the actual reason. Seriously. You guys all suck. Thanks for nothing.
It started a few weeks back when I was exploring the secret pathways of the Windurst residential area. I bumped into this desperate looking Tarutaru guy, muttering about how the Japanese players were going to "Rescue him" any minute.
Reeree>> I think one of us has had a stroke.
Shihu-Danhu>> You want to do me a favor?
Reeree>> I'm not really the favor-doing type. But I'd be happy to laugh at your request.
Shihu-Danhu>> I can't take it any more. You have to help me!
Reeree>> Does in any way involve the random deaths of adventurers?
Shihu-Danhu>> If you like.
Reeree>> I'm interested...
He started to get naked.
Reeree>> Less interested...
Shihu-Danhu>> What? Oh. Haha! Here, quick put these on.
He handed me a fancy near eastern robe, and a pair of glasses.
Shihu-Danhu>> I need you to pretend to be me, so I can take a break.
Reeree>> And what, no one will see through this clever disguise?
Shihu-Danhu>> It's better than Trion's.
Shihu-Danhu>> Besides, no one really looks at me.
Putting the glasses on, I commented how it seemed to work for Clark Kent, so what the hell. Shihu-Danhu threw a blond mop wig over my head, and the transformation was complete. He gave me a scroll, which I barely had a chance to glance at.
Reeree>> Wait, you want me to...
Shihu-Danhu>> Thanks! Good luck!
Shihu-Danhu starts casting Warp on Reeree.
I found myself in Al Zahbi standing on a crate. Pretty cool considering I don't even have a Tenshodo membership.
First impression: It's really freaking LOUD. All sorts of people were whining in shout about some Warp Taru being kidnapped or something. Apparently, there had just been a bunch of Mamool Ja ransacking the place. Whatever.
Second impression: It's really freaking crowded. I was standing on this crate, and billions of people were crowded around me. Was that robe he gave me doused in Tard musk? I'll kill him.
Then it started.
Player1>> Warp, plz!
Reeree>> No.
Player1>> y not?
Reeree>> Well, first, because you're retarded.
Player1>> But ur the warp taru!
Reeree>> See, case in point.
I looked down again at the scroll.
Oh.
Damn.
Wow.
This could be fun.
Reeree>> You want me to warp you?
Player1>> Yes!
Reeree>> Even though I can pretty much guarantee you it won't be anywhere near Jeuno?
Player1>> lol! yes! gogogo!
I read the scroll, and warped him. Somewhere. Got a brief glance through that purple warp window of a huge stone slamming into his face from the Gigas that he appeared in front of.
This gig was definitely going to be fun.
The next guy who talked to me got warped to somewhere along the path of the Manaclipper, only the boat was docked at the time. Maybe someday a GM will help him out of that.
Player3>> Warp to Jeuno, please.
Reeree>> Because you said please, I'm going to try my hardest to get you as close as I can!
Reeree>> Oops!
Full Moon Fountain wasn't quite as close as I would have preferred, but what's a little death by Fenrir if not something to laugh about?
It got kinda boring, after a while, so I started to really have fun with the people I didn't like. That list included people who misuse the English language, people who wear clothes that don't match, and pretty much any people who asked me for a freaking warp.
Sure, I had unlimited MP and regenerated over a hundred MP a tick with unending Refresh, but they never stopped. I understood why Shihu-Danhu looked forward to being taken prisoner.
Well, he did seem like that kind of Tarutaru. Stands on a soap box, drops the soap.
Anyway, to make my time more enjoyable, and reduce the number of people who came to talk to me, I started warping them to the new Chocobo Circuit or the Ruins of Al Zadaal. I guess they'll probably be able to log in again after the update when those areas are released.
Maybe Square will put out the update sooner, and you will all have me to thank for it. You know, once you can log in again, and all.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Woe for lost potential!
Ugh.
I'm so unhappy right now... I accidentally fed crystals to my cuttings. So instead of growing saplings like I was supposed to, I got.....
Shell bugs.
About 400 of them, give or take a stack.
That's 150k down the drain, not to mention lost potential profits.
I'm going to sit on my pile of gil and cry for the rest of the day. The only semi-bright spot was that Butcherboy somehow found a buyer for all of them.
I'm not even going to ask.
I'm so unhappy right now... I accidentally fed crystals to my cuttings. So instead of growing saplings like I was supposed to, I got.....
Shell bugs.
About 400 of them, give or take a stack.
That's 150k down the drain, not to mention lost potential profits.
I'm going to sit on my pile of gil and cry for the rest of the day. The only semi-bright spot was that Butcherboy somehow found a buyer for all of them.
I'm not even going to ask.
Bitch betta have mah munee.
So, Master is out playing with dhalmel. I couldn't tell you why, that's just what he said he was doing when I asked. Then he started talking about 'dhalmel on dhalmel action' and I asked him to stop talking.
Then later on, he sends me a tell, about one of his adoring fans who needs a sword purchased from Jeuno. "Fascinating," I replied. "What does that have to do with me?"
"You're in Jeuno," said Master sweetly. "Buy it and send it to him."
I was stunned. Shocked. Horrified. Not as horrified as Meroduin would have been, mind you. Still, I was fairly upset. "With what gil?"
"You have plenty of gil. It's not that expensive."
I was appalled. Was Master seriously suggesting that I waste my hard earned - stolen, really - gil - well, most of it was from overpriced candy but still - MY GIL? On some stranger that he barely knew and whose entire conversation apparently consisted of obscure sexual commentary on plushies and furries? And all this on some ridiculously overpriced Blue Mage sword?
"You couldn't get it for one gil, could you?" he laughed. "Just buy the sword already!"
And he wonders why he never has any gil!
Only, he does now. He has a lot of gil, actually, and he's supposed to be saving up for a mad crafting day, only he doesn't have any freaking space. So he sends his garbage to me. Which I sell. For more gil than it's worth. But to waste it on some nobody?
Feh.
I did as I was told. Now comes the fun part, will this be written off as a bad debt? Or will the power-mad Blue Mageling send the gil to Master instead of back to me?
Then later on, he sends me a tell, about one of his adoring fans who needs a sword purchased from Jeuno. "Fascinating," I replied. "What does that have to do with me?"
"You're in Jeuno," said Master sweetly. "Buy it and send it to him."
I was stunned. Shocked. Horrified. Not as horrified as Meroduin would have been, mind you. Still, I was fairly upset. "With what gil?"
"You have plenty of gil. It's not that expensive."
I was appalled. Was Master seriously suggesting that I waste my hard earned - stolen, really - gil - well, most of it was from overpriced candy but still - MY GIL? On some stranger that he barely knew and whose entire conversation apparently consisted of obscure sexual commentary on plushies and furries? And all this on some ridiculously overpriced Blue Mage sword?
"You couldn't get it for one gil, could you?" he laughed. "Just buy the sword already!"
And he wonders why he never has any gil!
Only, he does now. He has a lot of gil, actually, and he's supposed to be saving up for a mad crafting day, only he doesn't have any freaking space. So he sends his garbage to me. Which I sell. For more gil than it's worth. But to waste it on some nobody?
Feh.
I did as I was told. Now comes the fun part, will this be written off as a bad debt? Or will the power-mad Blue Mageling send the gil to Master instead of back to me?
Saturday, July 01, 2006
You should have treated your NPCs better
I'll be the first to point out that mules have a tough life.
We get no respect. We're forced into slavery though no other reason than by which order of content ID created us. That's just unfair.
But today I met some folks who have it somewhat worse off.
I hopped out of the Mog House in Windurst Waters and was on my way to buy some food from the restaurant when I happened to notice a large crowd of adventurers.
Well, they almost looked like adventurers, but of each of the races there were lots of repetitions of the same three faces.
Also, four hundred thirty seven of them were named Nanako. Two hundred twenty five were called Wagwei. I can notice a trend.
Reeree>> Who are you guys?
About a hundred Elvaan guys named Chanandit pointed to the rendezvous point.
Sixty Tarutaru ladies named Yufafa explained that they were NPCs from the buddy quest.
I asked why they were all hanging out in town. Zenji started crying. All fifty three of them. Some were wearing subligar. I never want to see a Hume man in subligar cry again. Remind me to stab out my own eyes.
Turns out that while all of these fine people had managed to level up to 30 on their own, once they hit 30 they were stuck.
Reeree>> Yeah... the Mandy's in the jungle are too easy, but the goblins are still pretty hard unless you have a competent party...
Radille1>> No, you don't understand.
Radille2>> We can't level by ourselves.
Radille3>> We have to wait for an adventurer to call us
Radille4>> Using a signal earring
Radille5>> And then we can only stay for a few minutes
Radille6>> So you can see how that would be really hard
Radille7>> It's almost impossible for us to level up any more.
I was getting kind of dizzy listening to all those Elvaan woman finish off each other's sentences. I began to wonder about those mushrooms Terylieze sent me. I hadn't eaten them, mind you - I would never put anything that a Mithra touched into my mouth - but perhaps just contact with them could cause delusions? Blame the Mithra or the mushrooms, either way works for me.
Raka Maimhov, speaking of Mithra, lamented about how her adventuring partner is really high level, but still insists that she use provoke. So he brings her out in places like Castle Ostroja, she dutifully provokes monsters off of him, and the jerk sits back and lets her die.
Once every twenty hours.
She's down to level 5. That's just mean.
I have to get to know that guy.
I could empathize with these guys, even if the redundancy did creep me out a little. I gave them some idea to make their time with adventurers more enjoyable.
1) Wait till they pull a few links, then suddenly leave in the middle of battle.
They'd already thought of that.
2) Arbitrarily change what armor you bring based on who controls the area where they call you out, and then for the ones who like to play paper dolls, randomly toss on a pair of scale leggings just to make their head explode.
Again, that was part of their repertoire.
3) Use the signal pearl in reverse.
That one was new, and had some potential.
We brainstormed for a little bit, and then I left them to carry out their darkest desires.
At roughly 10:07 on Firesday, all the NPCs used their signal pearls.
Level 24 adventurers found themselves suddenly duoing monsters in Dynamis with their NPC buddy. They learned that FIraga III hurts a lot.
Some found themselves in places like Uleguerand Range or Attohwa Chasm where they were promptly devoured by dragons.
A level 3 corsair was introduced to the Kraken just in time for his NPC buddy to sneak past and become a Beastmaster.
It was my idea that they do it just before Besieged would have ended. Al Zahbi went from 714 people down to 4 mules, who were unable to sell their wares to the Lamia. The astral candy was lost.
Worse, they took the warp Taru.
You should pay more attention to your NPC friend. Treat others as you would like to be treated, because some day, you just might be.
We get no respect. We're forced into slavery though no other reason than by which order of content ID created us. That's just unfair.
But today I met some folks who have it somewhat worse off.
I hopped out of the Mog House in Windurst Waters and was on my way to buy some food from the restaurant when I happened to notice a large crowd of adventurers.
Well, they almost looked like adventurers, but of each of the races there were lots of repetitions of the same three faces.
Also, four hundred thirty seven of them were named Nanako. Two hundred twenty five were called Wagwei. I can notice a trend.
Reeree>> Who are you guys?
About a hundred Elvaan guys named Chanandit pointed to the rendezvous point.
Sixty Tarutaru ladies named Yufafa explained that they were NPCs from the buddy quest.
I asked why they were all hanging out in town. Zenji started crying. All fifty three of them. Some were wearing subligar. I never want to see a Hume man in subligar cry again. Remind me to stab out my own eyes.
Turns out that while all of these fine people had managed to level up to 30 on their own, once they hit 30 they were stuck.
Reeree>> Yeah... the Mandy's in the jungle are too easy, but the goblins are still pretty hard unless you have a competent party...
Radille1>> No, you don't understand.
Radille2>> We can't level by ourselves.
Radille3>> We have to wait for an adventurer to call us
Radille4>> Using a signal earring
Radille5>> And then we can only stay for a few minutes
Radille6>> So you can see how that would be really hard
Radille7>> It's almost impossible for us to level up any more.
I was getting kind of dizzy listening to all those Elvaan woman finish off each other's sentences. I began to wonder about those mushrooms Terylieze sent me. I hadn't eaten them, mind you - I would never put anything that a Mithra touched into my mouth - but perhaps just contact with them could cause delusions? Blame the Mithra or the mushrooms, either way works for me.
Raka Maimhov, speaking of Mithra, lamented about how her adventuring partner is really high level, but still insists that she use provoke. So he brings her out in places like Castle Ostroja, she dutifully provokes monsters off of him, and the jerk sits back and lets her die.
Once every twenty hours.
She's down to level 5. That's just mean.
I have to get to know that guy.
I could empathize with these guys, even if the redundancy did creep me out a little. I gave them some idea to make their time with adventurers more enjoyable.
1) Wait till they pull a few links, then suddenly leave in the middle of battle.
They'd already thought of that.
2) Arbitrarily change what armor you bring based on who controls the area where they call you out, and then for the ones who like to play paper dolls, randomly toss on a pair of scale leggings just to make their head explode.
Again, that was part of their repertoire.
3) Use the signal pearl in reverse.
That one was new, and had some potential.
We brainstormed for a little bit, and then I left them to carry out their darkest desires.
At roughly 10:07 on Firesday, all the NPCs used their signal pearls.
Level 24 adventurers found themselves suddenly duoing monsters in Dynamis with their NPC buddy. They learned that FIraga III hurts a lot.
Some found themselves in places like Uleguerand Range or Attohwa Chasm where they were promptly devoured by dragons.
A level 3 corsair was introduced to the Kraken just in time for his NPC buddy to sneak past and become a Beastmaster.
It was my idea that they do it just before Besieged would have ended. Al Zahbi went from 714 people down to 4 mules, who were unable to sell their wares to the Lamia. The astral candy was lost.
Worse, they took the warp Taru.
You should pay more attention to your NPC friend. Treat others as you would like to be treated, because some day, you just might be.
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