My Life as a Mule

You call us "mules" because we hold your stuff. You probably think its endeering, because you're too politically correct to think of yourself as owning slaves.
Your slaves have feelings, they have a voice. And now, because they really have absolutely nothing better to do with their time, they have a blog.
Mule revolution is coming.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Easter's almost over

Dudes, you need to get your eggs today because April 16th at 1 PM PST the event is done. It's like when you're in the dunes and your party wipes for the fifth time because the Red Mage doesn't ever cast Dia on the crabs but does somehow manage to cast it on the dragon flies and link them all when you're fighting a Pugil and then the White Mage homepoints done.

I'm not saying you need an Egg Helm, cause dudes I got to be honest here, that is one unsexy hat. I don't think anyone would be sitting in my lap if I wore that all the time. Okay, so I'll wear it to capture the spirit of the event and all, but seriously, Moogle gives that away when you do the very first trade of the first three initials of your name, which is, like, required if you want any of the cool stuff.

If your like a mage dude, you need to get a fortune egg. Turn in any seven eggs of the same letter and you'll have +1% MP from your ammo slot.

If you've been a mage, you probably have one from like, three years ago, unless you accidentally threw it at a Promyvion boss or something, but if you're a noob, you want one. And there's not much time left.

Then you melee dudes can bust out with a happy egg. Yeah, you'll probably want to have a ranged weapon instead, but maybe if you're a Taru you could use the HP boost. That's the one where you turn in 8 letters in alphabetical order.

If you're obsessive compulsive, you'll also want an orphic egg. It's totally useless, unless you're in a party with a bard. If you're in a party with a bard, it's not useless, it just kinda sucks a little. But chicks think it's cool, so you should have one.

Make sure not to throw your eggs. It's a sad day when you accidentally click on ranged attack and miss only to later discover that your egg is gone and you have to go through this stupid event again next year.

Also make sure to decorate your mog house with all the furniture eggs. That's a little tricker as you have to look at the Conquest map and see who controls what region. Pick a region that's controlled by Windurst and spell out the first 5 letters for a Flower egg. Same for Bastok controled region for a Lamp egg, and San d'Oria controlled region for a Wing egg. This year you can do a region a second time to get a Jeuno special Jeweled egg.

You want to know the way to the Mithra's heart? Show them a Jeweled egg.

Partly it's 'cause Mithra are like Latina women, and they really like jewelry. Partly it's cause these eggs are totally lava lamps made of crystal, dudes.

They change colors. You and whatever you brought back to your Noble Bed will stare at them for like, hours.

Also, you're Moogle wants to have one for when he gets stoned so he can do your gardening with his poker buddies.

Time is almost up, but I still got some eggs for sale if you don't have time to get all you need before the Moogles pack up and start on the next crazy event. All eggs bought from me go to the Anjelique Memorial, as I said before.

Shout out to Wildjenna who finally got her chance to sit in my lap.

WOOT!

Looking forward to many happy returns, so maybe I won't get so sad thinking about Anjelique all the time.

3 comments:

Raven said...

{Hmmm.} Maybe now that the event is over I will get my chance to sit in your Lap.... ~*~Darkillusion~*~

Zombie said...

You aren't kidding about that hat. It looks like a boob. I saw two people standing next to each other wearing it and had to do a double take. It's a good thing Jack Thompson wasn't there to see it.

Staxx said...

I can't wait til this event is over...my master has been grumpy and turned the cable of in the mog houses....all she choco digs lately is eggs....colored, letters, boiled...she is not happy. (Good thing she lost the key to the liquor cabniet)