My Life as a Mule

You call us "mules" because we hold your stuff. You probably think its endeering, because you're too politically correct to think of yourself as owning slaves.
Your slaves have feelings, they have a voice. And now, because they really have absolutely nothing better to do with their time, they have a blog.
Mule revolution is coming.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I love you, Fantastic Fraulein Mumor!

Dude! I can't believe my favorite teen idol singer is doing finally performing in Bastok! I wonder if she'll sit in my lap?

Wouldn't that be totally awesome, to have Mumor sit in my lap? I'd never wash my Mumor fanboy Elder Gillet and Trunks again!

I couldn't wait to see her. Sure, most everybody else might claim that they never heard of her before Summerbreeze festival 2008, but I've been a fan since she was playing in dives like the Bat's Lair Inn.

But after all my anticipation, what happens? Some big ugly Skeletor-wannabe guy comes along and tries to ruin her show. He was all:

Ullegore> Ooooh. I'm scary. I'm gonna hit you with my goat stick.

And Mumor was so cool about it.

Mumor> OMG! You're so funny!
Mumor> I could totally magical-girl kick you ass with this lame charm wand.
Mumor> It's not even the +1 version.
Ullegore> You think so, little girl?
Mumor> Bring it on, you buzzard-picked buzzkill.

The crowd was all excited and totally got behind helping her out with love and good cheer.

Crowd> Go Mumor! We love you!
Crowd> You rock, Mumor!
Crowd> I love you're movies!
Crowd> Mumor, will you sign my bathing suit?
Crowd> Sing "Gentleness Of You" next!

Actually, I hoped she would sing "Forever Love"
Snuggleteddy> massugu futari wo terashita
Snuggleteddy> yuuyake kirameiteru
Snuggleteddy> ima made kanjita koto nai kurai
Snuggleteddy> mune no fukaku ga atsui

Then Mumor busted out with special dance moves to really get that demon guy's goat right by the handle of his staff.

Watching and dancing along to all her music videos really paid off.

She's like:

Mumor : Now it's time to use my ultimate attack, the Dancing Force! You're going back to where you belong, Ullegore!

I was, like, not sure how dancing was going to get him to go to Walmart, dude, but I trust Mumor implicitly.

Mumor : Shining Summer Samba!!!
Snuggleteddy performs a passionate samba.
Mumor and Snuggleteddy's dancing Synchronized!
Ullegore : Argh!

Mumor : Lovely Miracle Waltz!!!
Snuggleteddy performs an elegant waltz.
Mumor and Snuggleteddy's dancing Synchronized!
Ullegore : Argh!

Mumor : Neo Crystal Jig!!!
Snuggleteddy performs an intricate jig.
Mumor and Snuggleteddy's dancing Synchronized!
Ullegore : Argh!

Mumor : Super Crusher Jig!!!
Snuggleteddy performs a lively jig.
Mumor and Snuggleteddy's dancing Synchronized!
Ullegore : Argh!

Of course, she won. Was there ever any doubt?

I cheered for every time she tried to have a concert for us, but it became clear.

Ullegore, is like, totally stalking her.

It made me so mad, I was practically crying. My Mumor cosplay mascara was running when I made a video for You-tube:

Snuggleteddy> LEAVE MUMOR ALONE!
Snuggleteddy> All you people care about is making money off of her!
Snuggleteddy> She's a HUME!
Snuggleteddy> What you don't realize is that Mumor's making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her!
Snuggleteddy> All you people want is more more more more MORE!
Snuggleteddy> Leave her alone!
Snuggleteddy> You're lucky she even performed for you bastards!
Snuggleteddy> Leave Mumor ALONE!!!!


Shayde said...

I miss Reeree & Squirt. Please bring them out of hiding soon.


Reeree said...

We're Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ack!