My Life as a Mule

You call us "mules" because we hold your stuff. You probably think its endeering, because you're too politically correct to think of yourself as owning slaves.
Your slaves have feelings, they have a voice. And now, because they really have absolutely nothing better to do with their time, they have a blog.
Mule revolution is coming.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

School's been out for 20 years

Everyone has been so excited about the Wings of the Goddess, as if the prospect of "new" jobs to level is a great and wonderful thing. Let's analyze, shall we?

In order to unlock the mighty potential of the Scholar, you first need to locate a Cavernous Maw.

Have you seen these things? Apparently they appeared during the Crystal War and no one bothered to figure them out, they just accepted that these classic Japanese Nightmare monsters had every right to suddenly be there. Now they've appeared again.

The name is apt. It is a humongous mouth. Being adventurers, you people see these things and decide that touching them is a good idea.

You don't get nearly what you deserve for that.

From what I've seen, the thing turns you into sparkles like anime bodily fluids, and then inhales you. For those of you who had any doubt, the Cavernous Maw apparently swallows.

And spits.

It spits you out in the past, where no matter that you have achieved rank 10 or defeated god's toes, some low-level punk who doesn't even know what merits are comes up and calls you "citizen" with San d'Orian pretension.

But you think it's all worth it for the chance to unlock jobs that have been extinct for decades.

Which makes you happiest, the ability to dance with the stars at the Lion Spring's Tavern? If you have any self-respect you'll never be able to go back there again.

Or the ability to dress like a school girl while not being able to cast anything special?

Has it occurred to you to stop and think about how no one has bothered with these jobs for so long?

There was a war, and everyone who was these jobs died.

A lot.

If there were any dancers left over, they were killed by friendly fire. All that pirouetting and stomping seriously gets on a Black Mage's nerves.

And scholars, what's that big grimoire for? Certainly wasn't to prevent a dagger to the face. Vellum isn't as strong as all that. Nor to prevent a Fire IV.

Some people say Scholars are really powerful when they're older than dirt. Unfortunately, they can't cast spells or hit anything when they're low level, so getting older than dirt doesn't really happen.

Getting dead, there scholars excel.

1 comment:

wyred said...

Hi Reeree, I got your email about adding this blog into TTTO. I tried to send you a reply but it seems that the email address is invalid and thus it didn't go through. Could you contact me again somehow? Perhaps on another email